


Changes

by Red_Reaper



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Blame Each Other Challenge, Denial of Feelings, M/M, Relationship Discussions, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 17:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Reaper/pseuds/Red_Reaper
Summary: After the incidents with Jack the Reaper, William T. Spears waits for Grell inside his office, to finally have a talk with himSome kind of implied relationship between them. Implied feelings on William's side and some dislike for sudden changes into his life's rythm and habits.





	Changes

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't kill me if my english suck :(
> 
> If you spot any mistake, please let me know (without any rudeness, thank you). English isn't my first language but trying to practice a bit. :)
> 
> I'm aware that Grell refers himself as a woman, but William doesn't. So I tried to balance it.
> 
> I do hope that you like it.
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing it's mine, except the idea. Characters belong to Yana Toboso and the manga Kuroshitsuji.

* **Changes**

As much as William wanted, he couldn't stop pacing around the room. The annoying  _tic tac_  of the clockinside his pocket, was almost too much to bear, but he did his best to keep his stoic self on.

He checked the time again:  _8:40 pm._

_It had no use, really. He wasn't alive anymore and time was just a concept for reapers like him._

_A really but really annoying concept, indeed._

Just hours and hours in that painful eternity to fill the same damn forms, day after day. William really appreciated the fact that reapers needed to sleep. He couldn't imagine himself having to stay awake and facing the same routine, without any rest.

As much as he loved his work, it could be really tiring.

But that night, his mind wasn't in his job. As much as he wanted to finish his paperwork, he couldn't stop making mistakes and having to rewrite the same sentences again and again.

_That night was the night._

He couldn't tell how many years had passed or how many changes  _he made_ , but William had enough time while his superiors decided  _his_  destiny, to decide his own feelings towards  _him_  too.

All these words that he needed to say, were still floating in his mind as if he were trying to catch them and don't forget anything.

He heard the door of his office, opening with a soft crack. He tried to stay behind his desk and staring through the windows, without even flinch at the sound of  _his steps_ , breathing as deep as he could.

"William… I…"  _something like a whisper, told him that finally Grell Sutcliff was standing right behind him. There was something different in his voice, but he couldn't quite tell what it was._

" _I see that you've changed, Grell Sutcliff…"_ he said without even turning around, clenching his teeth to keep his anger at bay. He could hear the young reaper's intake of breath.

"Will… I… I'm sorry" "I… you know? I was really happy to see you again! So glad that you came to rescue me! I wouldn't stand a chance with Sebastian kicking my face, you know? He is so mean! That's not how you treat a lady!" Grell chirped, but he ignored it.

_Nonsense, obviously. There was another change._

"I thought that he would kill me! He's so strong and skilled! You had to see him!"

_Weakness, chatting without stop. Another change._

"Will…?" "William... darling, say something…  _please?_ " "Look… I'm sorry, ok? I should have…"

_Yeah, that was what he was looking for in the first place. The feminine tone in his voice. The unnecessary use of loving terms._

_He indeed changed a lot._

"Sutcliff".

_Finally he would be able to turn around and look at him straight into the eyes. Finally, William T. Spears would be able to say what he wanted to say, after all these years of waiting._

"You indeed changed, Grell Sutcliff".

The younger reaper tried to hold his gaze but the cold look that she was receiving from her now superior, was starting to get under her many, many layers, rising up insecurities that she didn't even know that she even had.

"You did change too! Well, you look much more handsome than the time when we were…"

" _You really disgust me, Grell Sutcliff!"_

Yes, he finally said it.

And he had all the right to say it. After all, years didn't pass in vain.

"Oh! You mean it because of the smell of blood, right? I wanted to take a shower first and take care of these ugly wounds, but the council…"

" _Shut the hell up!"_ William suddenly screamed and Grell jumped in place, wincing a little. He wasn't used to do such things and suddenly felt his mouth dry with the effort.  _Well,_ much more of what it felt before with all the stress of the waiting. " _You don't see it, don't you?!" "What the hell happened to you, after the academy?" "Is this some kind of temporary thing or…"_

His voice sounded much thicker than usual and his hands were closed into fist, staring at the younger one in front of him.

_Was this any kind of joke or…?_

"Temporary thing, dear?" "I'm sorry but I think that you will have to elaborate…"

"What happened with the  _old Grell Sutcliff_? What all this make up, the long hair and heels means?  _What this damn woman means, Sutcliff?"_

Her eyes were as big as saucers.  _He could be angry, he could be mad at her, but…_

" _You aren't serious. You can't be serious…"_

" _Explain it to me! Tell me why after years and years of silence, you decide to come like if nothing happened and…"_ He gestured her appearance with one of his hands, barely covering his disgust.

_That finally broke her heart into tiny pieces that she thought she couldn't put back together, anytime soon._

_Tears quickly formed into her eyes at the thought that someone, especially him, could find her so…_

_Disgusting…_

_She could ignore anyone else, but not him. Not his opinions about her._

"Why you care, anyways? It really isn't like if you were worrying yourself sick for me. Or at least  _I really doubt it_. I disgusted you back then anyways, so there isn't any difference now". As hurt as she was, she couldn't let him see any hint of it. She wouldn't let any single tear to fall for a man that could judge her like that.

At least not  _without an explanation first._

_He didn't even know her motives._

William held his breath for what it seemed for him, like all his eternity as reaper. It would be easy to admit that he really didn't care about that annoying partner he once had.

_Really easy._

_But the reality was another._

" _You really want to know why?" "You really want to know why I wear heels, make up and why my hair is now longer?" "You REALLY want to know, William T. Spears?"_

He didn't reply, but did notice the tone in her voice. The anger building up on every letter she said.

" _I changed, William T. Spears…"_ Her voice crackled for a second, but she struggled to continue.  _"I changed… just because of you"._

Before he could say something, she continued, ignoring all his cold stares.

" _After our fight during the exams, I finally realized what I truly was. Thanks to you, I finally found the reason to stop hiding and be what I truly was. A lady…"_ She swallowed before continue, gathering the strength to look at him like in these old times that he seemed to love and miss so much.  _"All I ever wanted was to impress you, but you seemed so engulfed in your damn job and rules. You were disgusted back then, anyways. I left for good, William"._

Indeed, he was. But…

" _Do you love me, Grell?"_ It sounded like a whisper, so she blinked for a second.

" _Excuse me?"_

" _I asked if you love me"._ He said under his breath, staring at her with cold eyes.

"And just when I thought that my actions spoken for me…" "Seriously, darling, I think that you've been working too much and it's starting to affect your sense of the reality".

"You aren't even serious about it! You say you love me and then once I turn myself around, you disappear for years, slacking on your job and killing humans that even aren't on the damn list, to satisfy a stupid desire of a crazy human... a woman that you don't even know, as much as you think! And that isn't the worst part, no! Flirting with that… demon, expecting to be kicked right in the ass and almost getting killed by your own illegal scythe! Honestly!"

"Don't even dare to talk about Madame Red in that way!" Grell Sutcliff screamed, limping to get closer and holding him by his tie. William felt too angry to even fight back or get surprised by her actions. Was almost like if he expected such reaction from her, after all what happened. He couldn't believe in  _his_ work ethics anymore.

" _Don't even defend her!_  You killed her after all! What gives you the right to defend her!? You are wearing her damn red coat! After you filled it with her blood!"

" _And what gives you the right to talk about things that you don't even know!?"_

"Then… explain yourself!"

"Ah! Fuck! You sound like if you were jealous or something!" He couldn't help but think that his words were so  _unladylike._ "Why you even care, William?" "Why it pisses you up this much!?" "I just wished to enjoy the blessing of becoming a mother, but I am all wrong, you know? I can't have a baby, because I born with this body". She gestured towards herself. "Madame Red couldn't either, so I thought that it would be fun to help her". "Why it bothers you then, William?" "Aren't you like me, too?" "You love your damn job and you would do everything for it". " _Even turning your back on a friend_ ".

" _We were not…"_

"I see that now".

"Honestly! What made you think that we were…?"

"I should've known better". " _You changed too, William T. Spears, and I don't like it either but we have to deal with it and continue with our lives, right?"_

William finally got her hands away from his tie, hearing her cries of pain when he shoved her hands away with such force, that he thought he had broken one of her wrists.

" _Everyone changes, William". "You got promoted; you're now in a different position…"_

"You could have too! You were the triple A!" "I was merely a B rank student and…"

"But you said it that day. I only was triple A in practice, which made me useless in everything else". "You loved your job and I…"

"I didn't… not for me. I didn't want you to change".

"But I already did and there is no going back now". "I tried to look  _pretty_ , so you could notice me. And now you do. Not the attention I really wanted from you, but I guess that I will get used and will suffice".

He couldn't ignore the look she was giving him.  _Again_ , that smile filled with so much confidence, like he  _indeed missed_ in all these years of absence.

William didn't know that he had changed until that night, and in so many ways that he really never expected.

Like the thought that he indeed felt a  _little_ worried for the younger reaper, standing a few centimeters away from him, holding one of  _his_ injured hands.

"I'm sorry. Here, let me see your hand". He finally offered, pointing to his chair so she could sit on it and rest for a moment. Grell didn't say a word and silently nodded, taking the mentioned red coat off and putting it over his desk, studying it for a second.  _It would need a wash after all_. "Your nose it's still bleeding and one of your legs is broken". She knew all that but also knew that he was just listing all the wounds and what he needed to do to patch her up.

"Is ok, William". "You really don't have to, as they will heal by themselves…"

" _I'm your superior now and I have to care for your well-being"._

"Of course."

They didn't talk for what it seemed like hours, till he felt the clock inside his pocket, once he knelt in front of her to rest his hands over her hurt leg.

_Midnight maybe, he couldn't tell for sure. It wasn't like if he would get any rest or paperwork done, any time soon._

"Will! That hurts!" The redhead complained, as soon as he got her broken leg by her ankle.

"I'm sorry; I will try to work as fast as possible". He fixed his glasses and got up, staring at her for a moment. "Take your shoes off".

He disappeared from the office for a moment, returning with some bandages and water, kneeling again in front of her.

"I had this dream once, you know? That you would kneel before me and finally propose to me".

He ignored her words and continued to wrap her leg with the bandages, carefully raising her pants.

_He had a really soft skin, indeed. Even with his gloves on, he could feel them moving smoothly up his leg._

"Once I had this dream too". She smiled softly, barely showing her pointy teeth.

"About getting injured and me, helping you to heal your wounds?" He scoffed without even looking at her. "If that's what you plan to do from now on…"

"Don't be silly, darling…"

_In that he never changed, she thought happily._

_He wouldn't notice her words, unless she literally explained them._

He finally got up, looking directly at her face. She couldn't help but blush at his attentions, but he was just only looking at her wounds.

"Your cheeks got bruises".

"That damn demon! He should know that it's really impolite; to kick a lady in her face!"

"I stepped on your face too. I guess that I should say sorry".

"You also pulled my hair a little, but I guess that I shouldn't complain. You had your rights of being pissed at me".  _"I changed and you didn't know how to react"._

" _So did I…"_

"Indeed you did!" She giggled, taking her gloves off, wincing a little. And as much as he hated to think of it, it didn't sound as bad as he remembered from his past.  _It sounded more like a lady now._

"Did you love her?" "I mean, did you love that woman?"

"No, I didn't love her".

"And that…  _vermin…"_

" _I don't love him either, Will. I only have eyes for you and that is the only thing that hasn't changed for years"._

"But how I could've known?"

" _And that's why I changed. So you could finally notice me. And you did, I'm glad"._

He kissed her and she winced, taken aback by his sudden reaction. Her lips were still broken and blood was still coming out from the wounds of her nose, her cheeks and mouth. She could feel his thin lips, savoring the thick blood and the rests of her lipstick.

It was just a quick kiss. Sadly for her, William didn't forget that she was hurt enough to earn a couple of nights of rest.

And as much as she tried to pull him back to her, he was really focused on his task.

 _She couldn't complain anyways_. Finally her face felt so much better and she got the kiss that she had been dreaming for.

_Just…_

" _Are you still mad at me because I changed, William?" "Is so hard to accept that I'm a lady now and, that as a lady, I have dreams and desires like any other?_

_Was he? Or was he just pissed at the sudden change, without any explanation first?_

" _And what about you? Are you still mad, because a B rank got promoted and now is your superior?" "If I remember correctly, you rejected me first back then"._

" _I never said I was…"_ She laughed softly, reaching up to caress his face as soon as he held one of her injured hands, to cover it up with bandages, moving her fingers as much as she could with all these bruises. " _And that, like me Willy darling, changed a while ago". "As you can see now, I love you with all my heart and that should be enough for you"._

"Until you run after that demon again or try any other stupid thing. Honestly, Sutcliff…"

" _We are now together, aren't we? If I changed for you once, I can change again". "You just have to… umm… give me a lesson like before"._

"I will not…"

She held back his tie, smiling with that old teasing smile that he used to hate back then.

_He thought that some things change and some don't, otherwise he wouldn't be what he was…_

"As much as I really enjoyed our fight in the past, I would love to have… another kind of…. lesson". "And then, I could change those disgusting feelings you have towards me".

He preferred not to reply and instead, let her kiss his lips as much as she wanted.

_It was a challenge and he was right._

_If he once changed him in the past, he could try to change him again._

_And change himself too. Why not?_


End file.
